Friday, September 16, 2016


On a clear day, I can see the sky over Boston. I need to look South East and somewhat up, but it is for sure, the sky over Boston. 

I would not be surprised to awaken one crisp fall morning and, while taking the first cup of coffee to the porch rocking chair, look up to see a large object parked there in the sky over Boston. Not an original idea here, but there are objects being reported near and around the space station and other planets now. The photos show blurs, or the streaming cameras on the space station are turned off. My bet is that in some darkened, dusty corner, an astronaut can whisper to us the truth. But we cannot handle the truth, so a blurred object it is. With our photography technology that can read the time on a wrist watch from space, the very best image we can get from the space station is a blur? Seems we ought to be able to read the craft serial number, year built, and if its celestial license is current. I have heard that at any point in time we are actually thirty years ahead with technology and science as witnessed from today.

I did not plan to go down the alien rabbit hole today but I am. I am just saying that I would not be surprised. It will be at that moment when all of my worrying will be completed. I will better understand a few things and know even less. Maybe it will be just another moment in our time and earthly human endeavors. Like every thing else in our long history, we would have to come to grips with this out, too.

Can you imagine the media and political arena run amuck with this story? The media weatherman who now dress up in full-blown Burning Man rain gear paraphernalia to report rain and breezes would be hard pressed to dress for this story. By the way, "the sun is dimming", no longer covered by a layer of clouds. Be wary wary scared!! 

I might sit down, open my cell phone to find nothing connecting. Then I would turn on the ham hand-held to hear only a cacophony of clinking and buzzing. I would mention to the bride to expect our neighbors walking up the driveway to visit sometime today. I could not wait to ask our neighbor if he still thinks nothing bad is going to happen. The dog would be pacing and exhibiting abnormal behavior. The barn cat would catch an open kitchen door, run in and park in some soft secure couch corner.

Hot morning coffee means we still would have electricity. But do the vehicles run? 

I think I would sit there for quite awhile and be at peace.

Later in the afternoon, I would get the bottle of Remy Martin XO, a shot glass and go to the front porch rocking chair. I would ask the bride if she wanted to join me in a few shots and some conversation. She would opt out of the shots offer. The rocking chair would be positioned to see the sister ship in the southern sky, the first shot poured and held momentarily. Getting comfortable in the chair would be important, then the view and then the shot. Yea, a few shots.

I dip my toes here this morning because so many headlines are just unbelievable. Shaking my head no longer softens the blow. I try to avoid the politics but it is impossible to pull anything up on the temperature of the world and not have societal infections inflicted on me. Somewhere, just somewhere, there have got to be breaths of fresh air. Maybe I just need to take a knee. 

I think I am going to pen in Vermin Supreme for president. I see where AVU's (accessible voting units) are available in some states starting October 21st. All the improvements in our ability and ease of voting gives my heart hope this election cycle.

Vermin (if I can use his first name) promises everyone a free pony, free dental care and a willingness to ride along side us into a Zombie Apocalypse. A candidate who will stand toe to toe with the common folk when push comes to shove. But in all fairness to the man and process, I have a few questions here too. Damn “Basket of Deplorables” always have questions.
If we all get a free pony, then my wife and I will have two ponies to keep. We have a few acres but no grazing land and no place to adequately provide fenced-in roaming. We are animal people and the health and welfare of our ponies would be as important as they are for our dog, barn cat, moose, squirrels, birds, Fischer Cats, bears and bees.

So are we to bear the costs of all of this? My son and his girlfriend live a few miles away and they too will get two ponies. But they rent and both work. I just know he will want us to help with his and her ponies which brings our brood up to four. A larger burden.

Will the ponies come with an upkeep stipend? Priced per pony or will there be a group rate? What about pony health care? Animals cost money and time. Anyone who has even had a gold fish knows that it can all go south from simple neglect or too much love.

Maybe the ponies will only be free for those with ten acres or more. Well, then there goes another failed political promise to the masses. Who tells the eight year-old girl she cannot have a pony because they own no property? What about opting out of the pony program?

But free dental care ought to be much easier. Show up at any dentist office to get the infected tooth pulled. Pull a number and wait to be called. Reminds me: I spent a year in Germany flying helicopters. Great duty, beer, and food. I had an abscessed wisdom tooth and the Army has free dental care so off to the line of dentist chairs (like a barber shop) I went. You know that wisdom teeth are seriously anchored in the human body. The German dentist sat me down, shot me up with Novocain and the tooth was removed. No x-rays and no oral surgeon, no stitches.  Think of yanking an old rusted nail out of a 4x4 with a pair of pliers.

The dentist stuffed the hole in my lower jaw with a chunk of gauze, told me to keep pressure on it till it stopped bleeding and yelled “next.”

It was a rain dreary day as I drove back to the base. I would spit out some blood, repack with dental packing and drive on. Hurt like hell by then and I am a baby when it comes to dental pain. I parked the old car and noticed a line of rain soaked blood streaks down the outside of the drivers door. Looked like a bad case of road kill.The hole in my lower jaw was now starting to throb. 

I was seeing an Army nurse at the time. She was on duty that day and said she would run over quickly to the apartment and bring me some pain pills: Darvon. She specifically told me not to take more than what the prescription said; one every 12 hours if memory serves me right. Drugs for pain back then were probably drugs for pain.

I popped one, a half hour later another, a half hour later, another. The next thing I remember is waking up with my nurse friend sitting on top of me in the bed, physically beating and yelling at me. I guess finding me passed out in a pool of dried blood around my face and open pill box, both scared and pissed her off. As for me, I was sleeping like a baby and there was no pain. Never ever did that again!


So the pony and free dental care come with questions. It all sounds good and so easy, but the devil is indeed in the details. And then there is all of us riding together into a Zombie Apocalypse. I have this gut level feeling my candidate will not be standing along side of me when the time to advance on the Zombies is given. Maybe just a few of us standing there on said line with puzzled Minion looks on our faces.

The bride left a half hour ago saying she was off to buy an Anvil. Yep, an Anvil. She came to me, asked if it was a good idea, here is a photo, what do you think? I shook my head yes and as I started to answer, she whirled around and said, “I am going to buy it, hope you do not mind.”

I told her to stay in touch. She was mumbling something about swords and plowshares when she left.

Boston skies are clear today.


  1. I'll wave from the glass tower before they beam me up...maybe I can convince them to stop by your ranch and pick you and the bride up...road trip

  2. Well, you definitely got the title correct :)